Despite years of struggle and the best efforts by the team's owners, Oakland's City Counsel, and Colosseum Board Members, the Oakland Athletics are slated to relocate south a bit by 2012.
Yes, it's goodbye to the ol' Oakland A's, and hello to the FREMONT ALTHELTICS.
And here's the Top 10 reasons why this is utter bullshit:
1) The Althetics Ball Club has been in many cities in it's vast history, including Philadelphia and Kansas City. But it has always been in a MAJOR city... not just whichever one could afford to build a giant corporate cathedral of commerce.
2) The A's have called Oakland home for the past 40 years. Now, that may not be very long in the entire frame of existence, but it's a long time to me! Why change now? Just for money, that's why! Bastards!
3) Fremont? Really? Fremont?
4) "The Fremont A's" has no ring to it. Nor does "The Oakland A's of Fremont"
5) Stomper, the A's lovable elephant mascot, won't recognize the new surroundings, will try to run back to Oakland by instinct, and probably get hit by a car trying to run across 880! (He may do more damage than the car, but still...)
6) The name of the new ballpark will be "Cisco Field" - soulless, corporate, and cold. (Unlike "McAffee Colosseum.")
7) Nobody knows where the hell Fremont is!!!! (except Fremontians - they have a general idea.)
8) From it's illogical plans, the ballpark will be harder to gain access to than (insert the name of your favorite hot-but-stuck-up Hollywood starlet here)'s panties!
9) I'd rather have a good old-fashioned "Colosseum Dog" any day over a "Cisco Pina Colada" (or whatever those prissy little corporate lushes over there are gonna serve).
10) If I ever hear, "(Boom, Boom... BoomBoomBoom) LEEET'S GO... FREEEMONT!" - it's over.
It's a good thing the world is ending in 2012.
Keep it REAL! Keep the A's in Oakland!
This message has been brought to you by the Keep The A's In Oakland Committee, which I just started all by myself just now in spirit only because I have no money or friends.