Monday, October 20, 2008

A WHOLE NOTHER GRAMMAR NAZI BLOG POST

THAT'S IT! I AM FURIOUS!

The fundamentals of your "free country" have allowed such intellectual insolence as beyond my own wildest nightmares! How can this "freedom" allow such stupidity, ignorance and... STUPID IGNORANCE!?!?! You know what you Americans need? A DICTATOR!


Guten Tag, everyone! And willkommen to another installment of MY FURY! That's right, it is I - The Grammar Nazi - back with a HUGE complaint! (I know, very uncharacteristic... but bear with me.)


So, I'm chillin' in my pad the other day, just downin' a Hefferweizen with my boots up and watching some re-runs of
Hogan's Heroes (God love that wacky Col. Klink!), when - during a commercial break - I see an ad for a major electronics store called Circuit City in which a lovely young fräulein, sitting in a restaurant booth across from some sort of mutant, man-sized digital camera with legs, is heard to utter the words "...and then I see you for a whole nother price".

Yes, as you may have guessed, that TV doesn't work anymore... and my
Hefferweizen is no longer in my hand at this point.

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! THIS IS AN OUTRAGEOUS ACT OF INSOLENCE ON A LEVEL THAT IS WORTHY OF MASS DESTRUCTION! PURITY IS ESSENTIAL! PURITY OF LANGUAGE! EVEN YOUR EVIL ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

You won't find any morons like this woman destroying the German language, precisely because there are RULES! GRAMMAR RULES! Rules are meant to be followed. And, if they are not, beatings will ensue and continue until morale improves!


Think of this as a warning, citizens:


ACHTUNG! WHO SOEVER SHALL UTTER SUCH OVERT NONSENSE, ESPECIALLY THROUGH MEANS OF SUCH MASS COMMUNICATION, SHALL BE DESTROYED - FIRST MORALLY, THEN PHYSICALLY... AND ALWAYS VERY, VERY SLOWLY!


Also, your Führer is calling for a out-and-out boycott of all Circuit City stores. Don't shop there. They support idiocy! And Best Buy is much more my style.


That is all. Commence diligent labor!


P.S. If anyone's thinking of what to get the Grammar Nazi this Christmas, here are a
few hints!

7 comments:

Katie said...

Ahhh, that's awful!!! Sickening really.

Der Fuhrer said...

Someone as pedantic as the Grammar Nazi ought to be a little more vigilant with correct spelling and word usage on the very blog from whence he rules by fiat. In this age of spell check, can we ascribe the misspelling of “loathe” and “douche bag” to anything else but intellectual “indolence”? Indolence means laziness; insolence means impertinent behavior or speech. Surely the nonsensical “whole nother price” colloquialism is better explained by the former than the latter.

Achtung, Grammar Nazi! Arbeit macht frei!

Mike Wood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike Wood said...

Look people, The Grammar Nazi is a very busy guy. Hell, he only posts a blog here once in a blue moon. He's been running on very little sleep, (destroying an entire race of people is hard work,) so give him a break. He's not bagging on anyone's typos or common mistakes. He's angry about blatant stupidity; that's all, okay?

And really... do you wanna challenge a guy like this? It could be pretty dangerous... and for what? Nothing. Forgive him if he took the time and effort to whip up a comment about a nationally-circulated, budgeted, scripted, bought-and-paid-for commercial that he saw with a major error inserted nonchalantly. It's not like the Grammar Nazi has a copy editor. (He really does need an Assistant Fuhrer.)

And, no - I'm sure he didn't mean "indolence". He means "insolence", which does not mean "laziness", but "showing a rude or arrogant lack of respect" - and that's what he means. So... just shut up.

So quit bagging on the guy, okay? He's not against common mistakes. But, as he'll tell you, "There's no excuse for being a moron."

Schwartzilla said...

Being from Dusseldorf, I appreciate what the Grammer Nazi is trying to do. That being said, I was more creeped out by the lady wanting to snuggle up to a GODDAMN DIGITAL CAMERA WITH LEGS then I was with the bad grammer.

Fortunately, the abomination known as Circuit City will be bankrupt in the near future. In the mean time that commercial has given me nightmares, and no amount of legal recourse will the fix the mental damage it has inflicted.

I can't hide from my dreams!

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