THAT'S IT! I AM FURIOUS!
The fundamentals of your "free country" have allowed such intellectual insolence as beyond my own wildest nightmares! How can this "freedom" allow such stupidity, ignorance and... STUPID IGNORANCE!?!?! You know what you Americans need? A DICTATOR!
Guten Tag, everyone! And willkommen to another installment of MY FURY! That's right, it is I - The Grammar Nazi - back with a HUGE complaint! (I know, very uncharacteristic... but bear with me.)
So, I'm chillin' in my pad the other day, just downin' a Hefferweizen with my boots up and watching some re-runs of Hogan's Heroes (God love that wacky Col. Klink!), when - during a commercial break - I see an ad for a major electronics store called Circuit City in which a lovely young fräulein, sitting in a restaurant booth across from some sort of mutant, man-sized digital camera with legs, is heard to utter the words "...and then I see you for a whole nother price".
Yes, as you may have guessed, that TV doesn't work anymore... and my Hefferweizen is no longer in my hand at this point.
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! THIS IS AN OUTRAGEOUS ACT OF INSOLENCE ON A LEVEL THAT IS WORTHY OF MASS DESTRUCTION! PURITY IS ESSENTIAL! PURITY OF LANGUAGE! EVEN YOUR EVIL ENGLISH LANGUAGE!
You won't find any morons like this woman destroying the German language, precisely because there are RULES! GRAMMAR RULES! Rules are meant to be followed. And, if they are not, beatings will ensue and continue until morale improves!
Think of this as a warning, citizens:
ACHTUNG! WHO SOEVER SHALL UTTER SUCH OVERT NONSENSE, ESPECIALLY THROUGH MEANS OF SUCH MASS COMMUNICATION, SHALL BE DESTROYED - FIRST MORALLY, THEN PHYSICALLY... AND ALWAYS VERY, VERY SLOWLY!
Also, your Führer is calling for a out-and-out boycott of all Circuit City stores. Don't shop there. They support idiocy! And Best Buy is much more my style.
That is all. Commence diligent labor!
P.S. If anyone's thinking of what to get the Grammar Nazi this Christmas, here are a few hints!