And all of a sudden, for the first time I can remember, I'm proud of our President, George W. Bush.
On Sunday, during a visit to Baghdad, Iraq, President Bush ducked a pair of shoes that were hurled at his head - one after the other - in the middle of a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. The assailant - later identified as television correspondent Muntadar al-Zeidi - leapt from his chair and hurled his footwear at the president, who was about 20 feet away. Both shoes narrowly missed their target and thumped loudly against the wall behind the leaders.
"Don't worry about it," the president said to his bodyguard as the room erupted into chaos. "I'm fine."
Don't worry about it? Did you see how smooth that guy was!?! Watch the video! Homeboy is cool as an effin CUCUMBER! As though he's used to having shoes thrown at his head everyday! Zoom! "Ain't nobody gonna hit ME with a damned Iraqi shoe! I'm the muthaf***in' gingerbread man, sucka!" he seemed to say.
"This is the end! Here is your goodbye kiss, DOG!" shouted the man, as he launched each of his shoes at the leader of the free world, obviously hoping to completely destroy the man and thus be greeted in heaven by seventy podiatrists.
Ironic, it seems, that Bush and al-Miliki were presently signing into legislation a law that would ban all shoes from all reporters in Iraq. Angry as he seems about this news, al-Zeidi was actually the first to comply with the new law, albiet quite aggressively.
As it turns out, it's quite the epitome of insult to be slapped with a shoe in Muslim culture - recall the image of the statue of Saddam Hussein being torn down and beaten with shoes by Iraqi civilians in the streets of Baghdad several years ago. Bush took the insult coolly, joking later that the shoe was "a size 10". He then retired to a private restroom where he quietly sobbed on the floor of an unused stall for forty minutes. "Why don't they like me?" he was overheard to cry. "WHY!?"